We love activity and movement, we love adrenalin and stimulation, we love making things happen and creating the lives we want - all of these things feel powerful, and in that power there is security and happiness. These are the outward-moving qualities of Yang.
We have gone for Yang style living in a big way in Britain, at least since the 1980s, the time I was growing up. I remember in early childhood everybody had old cars, hand-me-down clothes, we didn't fly for holidays, we cooked and ate at home every day, we played in the streets we lived in and we didn't need to make dates to meet friends. But by the time I was a teenager I didn't value any of these things, I wanted more and better, I moved overseas and loved flying around the world so that I never had a winter (winter is the Yin time of year, summer is Yang), I loved earning money, solving problems, working independently and in this way, I felt free.
Of course Yang is not a permanent state, Yang transforms into Yin, which in turn becomes Yang again. Even though I have friends who love switching between southern and northern hemispheres twice a year so that they can live in constant summer, I decided to live all year round in the UK for a while and dive into Yin. As my shiatsu, meditation, and yoga practices developed, and particulary when I began studying with Suzanne Yates, who created Wellmother, a deeply healing Yin approach to shiatsu for pregnancy, birth and postnatal care, I really started to experience the power of Yin in my practices, and in my everyday life again... what I'd had as a child and had forgotten about. I remembered the effortlessness and fun of standing in the kitchen with my family and shelling peas together, the power in not trying, not improving what you have but accepting and enjoying things exactly as you find them. The fun of sharing a car ride and waiting for everybody to be ready to go, instead of choosing when I wanted to go. The freedom of not getting what I want, and not trying to get it. The thrill of riding my bike somewhere new and not knowing exactly where I'm heading.
|From a painting by Andie Butterfly Yoga|
In my shiatsu practice and my yoga and meditation classes, I find the resistance to Yin in most of us. Some of us admit that we can't "sit still", that we need to be doing something all of the time. On a cultural level, we don't value rest as much as we value doing things. We see action as the solution to problems. We love big gestures, great plans and we love achieving goals. But when we ignore Yin, the quietness, the stillness, the waiting, we miss a lot of information that can only come to us when we are truly listening. For example, when we receive a shiatsu or massage, we're often waiting for the next bit to happen, hoping the therapist will get to a particular spot on the shoulders or massage us in the way we want to be massaged. Sometimes when we get what we need from the session, we jump up from the futon mat or couch to take on the world, make plans and make use of the extra energy we've found. But I suggest staying with your extra energy in a gentle way, and actually try meditating on this new energy, rather than letting it pour out in action. So perhaps be still and watch the sensations of the new energy...
In yoga, many us are in a hurry to come into shoulderstand or headstand, and in the rush we forget to control the abdominal muscles, we lose control of our relaxed state of mind, all for the sake of getting up there... and for me at least, missing the whole point of the asana. Perhaps there's the thought, "I'll get up then I'll relax", but by then perhaps you have already missed several seconds of your calm state of mind, you may have injured yourself and you might not get back into your relaxed state after that.
So next time you find yourself fidgeting in a meditation or a yoga pose, while receiving a massage or while talking to somebody, when you find you can't be still, try bringing your attention carefully and patiently to your present experience... There are many techniques for doing this, you can also invent your own... check out my next post for some examples.